Sandy Mutton

I just want to sword fight on a beach somewhere and earn my mutton. 

Delicious

AHEM, I have an announcement to make...
my phlegm tastes delicious.

Hearts, Babies, and Bears, Oh My!

Killing a bear, eating its heart, and saving a baby...now THAT'S a rite of passage!

Life Coach Wanted

I need a life coach. And a shaman. 

The Deuce

I get why people think God is crapping on them, but it's their own deuce they're rollin' in.

Payday

The check hit the bank. It was a large splash. SNAP. 

Get the Rolls...

and roll up to Wafflehouses

Chubby Arms

(On why mom's want their kids to eat):

 He won't raise his fist to me if it's drooped down with arm chub.

Pegasus No More

Then I clipped his wings and he started to cry and I said, now you're just a horse.

Show Monkey

I want to be gorgeous--like a show monkey.